BFF (Day 8)

8 - Who’s someone that you used to be really close to, but you’re not anymore?

I have a girlfriend that I used to be best of buds with starting in 7th grade and her name is the same as mine “Zazzy” so we’ll call her Zazzy-2.  She only lived 1 block away from me.

We were pretty opposite, for example she had crazy beautiful blond hair while I had brown frizzy hair.  She was loud and outgoing, I was a loud-mouth and not as outgoing.  She had a beautiful filled-out body with curves that made all the boys drool while I had a thin boney stick figure not attracting much. 

Zazzy-2 came from a troubled home, while I did not.  Once high school started Zazzy-2 quickly found drugs and drinking an easy outlet for her.  She moved away from my neighborhood in 10^th grade to the suburbs and things only got worse.  We tried to keep in contact through the years but were always at different stages in life and not able to have much in common except reliving the past fun we shared with each other (which could only be relived so many times).

What was sad about the whole situation was that even though my dear girlfriend Zazzy-2 committed her life to Christ in 8^th grade, sitting on the living room floor of my childhood home, praying the prayer of salvation with my mom.  She struggled to live the life God called for her, seemingly condemned to live the same broken life her mother had. 

After talking to her the last time over a year ago, I got sick of the same drunken talk with the poor me outlook and decided that her lifestyle wasn’t healthy for me anymore.  I wrote her a LONG letter explaining that I feared for her and her children’s lives, if she didn’t get help, clean up, and get sober.  I only heard through the grapevine that she quit smoking and cut back on her drinking and that she was engaged. 

I think about Zazzy-2 quite often and send up a little prayer that things even out in her life. That she comes back to Christ to rely on his forgiveness and strength for her life to be more in-tuned with what His plans are for her.  I pray that God heals her and transforms her life and the next time I see her is happy, healthy, and full of positive energy.

Off Limits (Day 7)

7 - What’s something you don’t usually blog about?

I don’t usually blog about past personal problems and extended family drama.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that for obvious reasons.

Back to School Sinks In

My sister called yesterday to chit chat and she casually mentioned to me, “So your kids start back to school this week and you start back next week, right”?  Which I answer “Yea, the kids start this week, but I don’t start until the week after, the day after Labor Day”.  Then there was a slight pause and she said, “Yes that’s next week”.  And now the reality of me starting school has set in! 

I HAVE TO START SCHOOL NEXT WEEK! 

Yikes, I’m biting my nails and trying to block it out as long as I can so I can enjoy my last few days of freedom.  In fact just this morning as I was brushing my teeth, I was thinking ahead to my next vacation scheduled for the fall/winter.  Oh yea, that’s right, during Christmas week we’ll be driving down to Dallas for the football game.  After Labor Day is over I’m going to be counting down the days until Christmas!

Chocoate Room (Day 5)

5 - What’s in your bed right now? Take a picture of your bed.

A few years ago I took a trip to Minneapolis with my daughter to visit my parents.  While I was gone on this trip my hubby, his cousin, and my son decided to make-over our bedroom.  Previously the walls were light green (calming) with a rose patterned bedspread (hubby hated this).

I came home to a rich light brown color on the walls, chocolate bedding on the bed, and matching chocolate curtains with beads hanging from beautiful golden brushed curtain holders.  I had a matching lampshade beside my bed on my nightstand that was the focal point and inspiration for the room said my hubby.  I love it to pieces; each and every bit of the detail is handpicked by my hubs.  Isn’t he dreamy??

Either way, my bedroom is off limits from most people including family because it is NEVER clean!  But each and every night I step into a beautiful comfortable getaway and drift off into a chocolate blissful night.  Also the curtains are so dark they help to block out the morning sun allowing for a few extra minutes of uninterrupted shut eye.

Who Will My Child Marry (Day 3)

3 - What’s something you think of all the time, but never say out loud?

Many times I sit and wonder what my kids’ spouses will be like.  I know my kid’s very well and I know what upsets them and while I know they’re children, I often let my mind drift to when they become adults. 

I want my kids to be happy and that they marry someone who brings them happiness.  I want someone who my kids can relax, let go, and lively peacefully with.  I don’t want to see my kids hurt or at my doorstep through every bad argument.

I try to spend a lot of my prayer time for my kids to find upstanding, Godly, and loving spouses.

I don’t say much of this out loud to my kids because they look at me like I’m nuts, but the best I can do for each child is cover them with prayer and allow God to lead their lives.

Gagg-a-roo, It’s Spraying C-Diff!

Last night I was working at the hospital and had to empty an ostomy bag on a patient with C-Diff. 

After I gowned up and entered the patient’s room, I could see that the patient had a bunch of junk food wrappers lying around.  One of the wrappers was a cheesy popcorn bag, so I wasn’t too surprised when beginning to empty the ostomy bag I could see floating orange food particles. 

What I didn’t see coming was that at one point while I was velcro-ing the bag back together a little mist of a squirt of liquid jumped up into the air towards my face and I couldn’t dodge it. 

YUP, you guessed it, a little dot of the ostomy juice got on my face.  I tried to hold it together and not run out of the room screaming.  Instead, stoically I closed the remainder of the bag and pulled the blankets back up to the patients chin. 

I got to the bathroom in a slight rush-walk and dumped the ostomy contents into the toilet.  I ripped my gown off and started washing my hands, and moved onto scrubbing my face with soap and water and even wiped my hair around the frame of my face. 

YUCKO!  I was so paranoid that I hurried out of the room without telling the patient goodbye.  Isn’t it funny that a patient with C-Diff who has an ostomy bag doesn’t have a full face mask precaution along with gowning up for the aides taking care of them?  Maybe other aides or nurses are more skilled at turning their heads at an angle when emptying ALL ostomy bags, and from here on out, I will be too.

Readying up for Fall

A few of my blog friends are going back to school starting Monday but I don’t start back until the 6^th of September.  Here is a copy of my weekly schedule for the fall:

Did you notice something special about Monday’s?  I’m super thrilled to announce that I’ll have Monday’s off from school, which will leave me plenty of studying time without the kid’s being home to interrupt.  I don’t plan to schedule work during Monday’s either and hopefully with my expected lower hours of work each week (12), I’ll be able to spend more time with the family too.

My tummy is 40% occupied with nerves for the start of classes, and 60% bursting with anticipation.  I sat with a girlfriend (who’s also in the nursing program) for lunch yesterday and we were like two giddy school girls, giggling about how we can’t wait for the first day of school.

I should get back to studying some of my NCLEX questions, rearranging my bookshelf corner, and emptying my binders from last semester to make room for this semester’s new paperwork.

Movie in the Theatre (Day 2)

What was the last movie you saw in theatres?

The last movie I can remember watching in the theatre was Little Fockers last Christmas.  We went to spend the holidays with my husband’s family in Indiana.  Usually with his side of the family during the holidays we take a timeout from the hustle and bustle of a crowded gathering and head over to the movie theatre.  This allows us to stretch our legs, take a deep breath of fresh air and break up the monotony.  Attendance to this movie included mother and father-in law, me and my hubby, our two kids, and sister-in-law and two of her three kids (I think)?

The movie was alright, but any time you watch sequels they’re never better than the original.  Unfortunately for the season our family is in right now, financially movie theatres are too pricy.  Redbox movies are a much better buy and since I’m not worried about seeing the movie the minute it comes to DVD, I’m pleasantly surprised most times on most of my picks.

Indiana Wesleyan University

Disclosure:  This post was sponsored by Indiana Wesleyan University School of Nursing.  Program information was found on their internet website; opinions are personal.

IWU's campus in Marion, Indiana

My husband’s family lives in central Indiana, and during the time we met (my senior year of high school) we would travel back and forth to his parents’ house to visit.  During the car ride I would comment about the rolling hills and picturesque views of the state as a whole, but especially when we would pass through Marion Indiana.  Shortly after I graduated high school my husband asked me to marry him and move back to Indiana with him.  Eventually we found a place to live in Marion and while our stay there was brief, we loved it.  With the warm and inviting community, I contemplated finding a college to attend.  Before I could look further into possibly attending Indiana Wesleyan University, I found out I was pregnant and decided to move back home (Minneapolis) near my parents and away from Marion.

Later in life I have decided to go back to school now that my kids are older, and have decided on a nursing school in central Wisconsin.  When I think back to IWU, and what I liked most about the school is the fact that they’re a university built on faith.  Part of IWU’s mission statement says they are a “Christ-centered academic community committed to changing the world by developing students in character, scholarship and leadership.”  How awesome is that?  All of my life my faith and walk with God as a Christian has always been present.  Early in my school career, I didn’t put as much importance on my faith and finding a school that incorporates both learning and developing my Christian character.  Looking back now, I would definitely have given my younger self advice to check out IWU’s campus and program, while thinking they would lead my path in a positive direction.

Being a follower of Christ doesn’t just change your outlook of filling a void in your heart that only God can fill, but also instills great values that IWU also finds just as important.  For instance these values mirror each other in that they “challenge us to follow Christ compelling us to pursue a personal and professional lifestyle of Commitment, Leadership, Service, Stewardship, Innovation and Diversity.”

There are three different divisions with IWU School of Nursing which consist of the Divison of Pre-licensure Nurisng which helps prepare you before you’re ready to take the actual nursing coursework.  Then the Divison of Post-lilcensure Nursing includes completing the RNBSN program or obtaining a Parish Nursing Certificate.  Lastly the Division of Graduate Studies in Nursing allows the student to pursue advanced levels of nursing practice. 

If you’re interested in Indiana Wesleyan University School of Nursing please go to their website at http://www.indwes.edu/Academics/School-of-Nursing/. 

The best thing you can do is ask questions and know your options and there’s nothing wrong in adding IWU’s website to your list of places to contact.

small, tiny, 10 day challenge

Thanks to Pollyanna at Scrubs and Crocs for bringing it to my attention, I'm proud to announce that I'm going to try one of these darn challenges again.  Last time I did one, I had just ended my semester and tried to fit it all in one posting.  This time the challenge is shorter I’ve decided to take a little more time filling it out so I don’t overwhelmed you all with my info.

10 Day Blog Challenge (source: HeckYeahTumblrChallenges)

1 - Write about your first crush. Who was it? Do you still talk to them?

2 - What was the last movie you saw in theatres?

3 - What’s something you think of all the time, but never say out loud?

4 - Do you have a job? If you do, what is it and do you like it? If not, what job would you like to have?

5 - What’s in your bed right now? Take a picture of your bed.

6 - What’s a picture of yourself that not a lot of people have seen?

7 - What’s something you don’t usually blog about?

8 - Who’s someone that you used to be really close to, but you’re not anymore?

9 - What’s something you worry about for the future?

10 - Do you play any sports?

 ________________________________________________

Day 1 says that I need to write about my first crush, who it was, and do I still talk to them. 

My first crush was a guy named Jason McGrath, who was a sophomore while I was a freshman in high school.  He and I started the best of friendships talking to each other every day after school late into the evenings.  One night I wanted more out of this friendship and I went and pushed the envelope by asking him in a hasty note (that I stuffed into his locker after one of my last classes for the day) if he would be my boyfriend and then I demanded he let me know that evening by calling me if he was interested otherwise forget it and never to call me again. 

I was heartbroken when he never called and horrified the next morning when I saw him at school looking terribly upset with me. 

He told me that his father took him to a hockey game the night before and he never got my note which is why he never called me back.  He said he would’ve accepted my offer of being his girlfriend, but because I was “too pushy” he wasn’t interested in me anymore.  WHAT???!!!

Beyonce sings it best when she says “I’m the best thing you’ll never have”, and Jason was not meant to have dear-little-old-Zazzy. 

Instead of that loser, I got a much better man who loves my "love notes" and pushiness and who I wouldn't know how to live without. 

Needless to say I haven’t talked to Jason McGrath since high school but I did hear that he got a girl pregnant the following year and who knows if they got married.

New phone and scrubs

Hey everyone I got my new cell phone today.  It's an Android Samsung Mesmerize.  This phone has a neat feature called Swype where you can swipe when you text instead of lifting your finger to text.

Also in the mail today I got a complimentary pair of scrubs(pretty awesome long story), but I'll make a separate post for that.

Books for Fall 2011

Classes start back up again the day after Labor Day, and this coming Friday I’m heading to my university bookstore to buy all of my books.  $569 is the expected amount of money it will set me back.  Here is the list of most of the books we’ll be using this fall. There are a couple others that are not listed here because they’re included in a book bundle that didn’t have any pictures.

Professional Nursing: Concepts & Challenges (Chitty, Professional Nursing; Concepts and Challenges) by Kay Kittrell Chitty RN EdD CS

NURSES AND FAMILIES: A Guide to Family Assessment and Intervention by Dr Wright

Community/Public Health Nursing: Promoting the Health of Populations by Mary A. Nies PhD RN FAAN FAAHB

Wong's Nursing Care of Infants and Children (Book with CD) by Marilyn J. Hockenberry

Pearson Nurse's Drug Guide 2011 by Billie A. Wilson, Margaret A. Shannon and Kelly Shields

Gerontologic Nursing by Sue E. Meiner EdD APRN BC GNP (Paperback - Sep 27, 2010)

Earlier last month I spent $160 on our supply pack that will include dressing changes, tubing, cath care, and IV stuff from a company called Coursey Enterprises. 

ssee

I'm starting to get nervous but I'm firm on the belief that this semester will prove to be a better testing semester for me.  I'm going charge myself to get higher test scores and spend more time studying rather than blogging and definately no facebooking. 

Birthday Day

Yesterday I woke up not feeling any different than any other day like usual on someone’s birthday.  Funny thing is most people including myself always seem to ask that very question, do you feel any different on your birthday?  Fact is, for me, no I didn’t.  I know in days to come, when certain people ask how old I am, I will probably stumble over my words because the reality hasn’t sunken in that I am 34 instead of 33.  My body doesn’t feel different, I mean I didn’t just wake up overnight and have a head full of gray hair and a hump in my back and lose all of my teeth.  I’m just me and I’m a firm believer that YOU make your day a success, not the other way around that YOUR day makes you.  Every time I wish someone happy birthday I tell them to make it a good day, and that’s what I set out to do for myself.

My hubby turned to me and kissed me and said happy birthday before we even got out of bed.  After I stepped out of my shower for the morning my hubby gave me a gift of a Viking’s locker to store down in our game/football/TV room, where I can store my jersey and baseball cap during the season.  What a lovely thought, seeing as though he is a die-hard Cowboy’s fan and anything else brought into that room could jinx their entire season.  So this locker speaks volumes of love.
              GIFT #1

Viking Locker

Silly me, a few weeks ago when figuring out my work schedule, I agreed to work on my birthday, but it’s all good I still had a good time.  My co-workers decorated my cubical at my clinic job and there was a gift bag waiting for me which included Dove and Ghirardelli chocolates.  Yumm, who could go wrong with a start to a day like that?
               GIFT #2

Chocolates

Work was over at 1pm, so I made plans for a pedicure with one of my girlfriends at 130pm.  I love the French manicure look so much even on my toes that I had them add a cute pink summer flower to each big toe.  I was happy with the outcome.
               GIFT #3

Pretty Pedi

Then from there I headed home because my sister was sending me two pizza hut pizzas with a lava chocolate dessert on the side to be delivered around the same time I expected to be home.  How lovely, all she had to do was go online and place the order all the way from where she lives in Minnesota.  Isn’t technology grand??  Aren’t sister’s grand??
               GIFT #4

Dominio's Pizza

Before the pizza came I walked into the house to a beautiful pot filled with yellow mums and a note from the hubs wishing me a happy birthday.  He must have stopped home on his lunch hour just to do that for me.   I love mums especially in the fall weather against the back drop of falling leaves in the yard.  They are such a hearty plant!
               GIFT #5

Yellow Mum

Then my kids made a special trip to the jewelry store that they can afford “Claire’s” and purchased a bag full of goodies just for me.  I love bobby pins for my hair since getting it cut; it never stays in place like it should.  Also a couple necklaces that go with any outfit, so I promptly searched for my tiara and put all of my jewels on and played the part of princess for the rest of the night.  (ps, yes I do have a tiara and I believe every woman should own one.  Every woman deserves to feel like royalty every once in a while.)
               GIFT #6

Jewels from the kids

Aside from going to my kids’ softball practice and taking a walk with my hubby, we all just came home to relax for the evening. 

All in all, turning another year older just proves to me that your birthday is only as important as the attitude you set before it.

CNA Cheat or Brain Sheets

After a while of working my job at the hospital as a CNA I have finally figured out a system that seems to work for me.  I was pretty disorganized when I first started and felt overwhelmed with not knowing what to do when and how to “real-time” chart within a timely manner.

My department is a surgical area and we have a few “cheat” or “brain” sheets we follow.  One of them shows the patient’s room number, name, age along with a slew of information like is the patient on an IV or JP tubes etc, whether they can ambulate on their own, whether they are NPO or swabs etc, also if they are high fall risk.  That sheet is quite complicated to replicate for you all, so I’m going to just show you the main sheet that I like to use the most.

My cheat sheet is pretty basic in the sense it allows for ambulation information, pt. name, pt’s nurse name, whether the pt. has had a bath or bed change, how much the patients I&O’s are and of course all the vital information.  On the top right hand corner of my cheat sheet I like to hand write all of the other CNA’s numbers of the phones they are carrying along with the RN’s numbers too.  These numbers are so amazingly important for when I need help in a quick manner, I just pull out my sheet and dial up another aide for help or if the patient needs pain meds I dial up the RN’s ext.

My hope is that these sheets help others to get more organized and to document this along my journey to becoming a nurse. 



This cheat sheet I follow for the first half of my day shift as a CNA

This cheat sheet I follow for the second half of my day shift as a CNA

Birthday, Baptism, and Kick-Butt Attitude



whit chocolate raspberry cheese cake



My hubby’s birthday was yesterday and my son and I baked him a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake.  This dessert took a very long time to prepare than what we normally would spend on baking.  But it was well worth it, this was my first attempt at making cheesecake from scratch.



Sauerkraut, G.O., and hamb. pizza



Then like every birthday his favorite meal would be homemade sauerkraut, green olive, and hamburger pizza.  I don’t care for sauerkraut, and in years past I admit that I wore plastic gloves to spread the sauerkraut on the pizza because it’s pretty smelly and staining on the fingers like onions.  This year however, I was proud of myself for forking it out of the can and spreading it with my fingertips like shredded cheese.  Nice huh!?





This Friday my daughter is getting baptized along with a few other youth in the church’s youth group.  My daughter has been asking for the past six months to get baptized but I wanted to make it a special event for her.  Then out of the blue last week Sunday, she said she was ready to get baptized this Friday with others from our church.  (Our church is having a special youth baptism this Friday and I thought well okay then.) 

I also thought maybe I would keep this event casual and mentioned it to my mom and my side of the family to see if they were interested in coming, seeing as it was such a short notice.  Not something I usually do without a proper invite and all.  My hubby extended an invitation to our family who live in town, and also to his parents who live in Indiana.  Well low and behold after not too much consideration and a long story, we’ll be having and hosting a garage full of family this Friday.  WHAT!! This Friday is too soon with all the cleaning I should do to get prepared for such an event.

Good thing I have a strategic plan for just such a thing.  So I broke out a detailed list yesterday and completed scrubbing out the bathtub.  Yes, one thing to check off on the long list of things to do before Friday. 

Ultimately I just want my daughter to feel special and #1 on a day she has chosen to profess her faith publicly without worrying about how messy the house is.  I’m so thrilled for her and can’t wait to hear her testimony on how she came to believe in Christ; she hasn’t told me yet.

Lastly I have been inspired to lower my caloric intake to kick these last few stubborn pounds to the curb from Rena at The Redbook Experiment.  I spent a good portion of the day yesterday reading her blog.  I know I can cut out some of the bad parts of my eating habits, but won’t beat myself up if it takes me awhile.  Her writing is energetic and infectious.  Plus I’m using a weight loss website called http://www.loseit.com/ to track my progress of food intake and exercise log.  I believe these two websites along with the YMCA and my own desire are more than enough to help me fit back into the size of scrub pant uniform I wore from last semester more comfortably.  Maybe I don’t have to buy a new pair before the next semester starts after all??  Yay!

Books, Egg Bake, and God's Creation

Thanks to some advice from Christine at A Journey Through Nursing School and Beyond, I picked up two books from www.amazon.com pictured below.  Christine mentioned these books would be a great tool when heading into my next two semesters with all the wonderful things to learn about the body.  I love the book series named Nursing Made Incredibly Easy because they have lots of visuals, including pictures, drawings, and cartoons.  I swear you would all think I was in grade school with how I’m entertained to learn.

Thanks to Ange at The Blooming Hydrangea, pictured below is my lovely creation of her recipe for Egg Bake.  I have to say the bacon mixed with the croutons added a special treat this summer that filled my kitchen with the homiest aroma since my winter months of cooking.

Lastly thanks to my creator of the heavens and earth and our small town in central Wisconsin…God for giving us beautiful weather to enjoy.  Notice the smooth sailing on a county highway just east of my city in the picture below.  Such contrast with the blue sky, white fluffy clouds, and the sea of corn fields with some of our town in between the two.  If we ever decide to truly move away from here, I’ll be missing these picturesque days for sure.

Family Clean Plan

Saturday I was working my clinic job where I have the accepted approval to be on the internet throughout my shift and chit chat with co-workers.  The topic of school and the sacrifices a few of us students have to give up started, and I explained to my co-workers that aren’t students just what sacrifices I’ve made. 

I talked about how my relationship with my kids tend to suffer less on the confrontational-argumentative side and more on the neglect-don't-have-time side.  Also the fact that my exercise has decreased along with an increase of poor eating habits.  I guess the thing that’s affected most would be the house work and the everyday pick-up that doesn’t get done. 

So after hearing how some of the other ladies, similar in age, manage to keep their houses picked up, I became inspired.  I went on-line to a bunch of sites offering cleaning list ideas and one of the sites I looked at was Jen's at Iheartorganizing where she has MANY different organizng plans and made my own chart fit for our family needs.

On the main level of my home there are 4 major areas that people come and go through, 1)Kitchen, 2)Dining Room, 3)Front Room, and 4)Bathroom.  It just so happens there are four of us living in our house, so I divvied up each room and assigned one to each family member. 

My daughter has the kitchen because some of her chores were kitchen chores to begin with; my son was given the front room for the same reason.  My hubby was given the dining room. And since just about no one can pee in the toilet I decided the bathroom would best be taken care of by me.    

I went out and bought Target brand cleaners (Method) for fairly a cheap price and came home and implemented the new tasks. 

I have to say the few days we’ve been doing our new cleaning responsibilities, I think its miraculous how more organized I feel.  There is nothing sweeter than working 12 hours and come home to a more put-together home.  Amen for chatting at work and knowing how to make organizational cleaning charts.

Organizing my home was pretty easy, now if only I could organize my job duties as a CNA a little better, I’d be all set.

Anger is an Ugly Beast

At times I question whether my teenage daughter (14) will grow up happy or psychotic.  She has deep seeded anger problems towards her father and mixed with her little control over what goes on in our household equals many days of storminess between her and her father.

At first I thought this was all normal teenage stuff, but then last night I talked to her and I wonder if she may be slightly delusional as well. 

First to set the record straight I have always allowed my daughter to be open and communicate what she feels with me, and last night was no different.  Another argument broke out (despite a contract between daughter and dad to set some boundaries), and in the end my daughter was to blame for her actions.  This set her off to the point that she admitted to me she wished she could punch a stop sign and that her anger was so pent up that she thinks she could hit the sign to the ground.  I tried to explain to her that her strength and anger while completely valid, will do more harm than good and she would probably break all her bones in her hand and wrist.  She seemed so set on hurting my husband for all his past hurts emotionally to her that she wasn’t willing to see what she had done wrong and actually thought the opposite that she wasn’t to blame at all.  That is where part of my concern comes in, and during the heat of everything she didn’t see where her responsibility was in all of what happened.

Ultimately after I heard from both her and my husband and helped to work through all their hurt feelings for the night, much later in the evening my daughter came to apologize to me if what happened hurt my feelings, but my main concern was back to my daughter’s future happiness.

I tried to explain that my husband will always have power over my daughter if she doesn’t chose to let go of some of this past hurt and anger he’s caused her.  She seems so caught up in the present of how she was hurt and how to handle her anger that she’s not interested in thinking beyond today. 

I know I’m absolutely insufficient with dealing with something like this.  I fear that I’m not saying the right thing.  In hindsight I should have prayed with her or directed her to a bible passage that could have helped her.

Anxious Stomachache

Yesterday was day one of two days off in a row and I hardly ever thought about anything work related.  Actually I was more interested in relaxing and sleeping in as late as possible. 

Today was day two of two days off and I woke up with a stomachache, like a gnawing in my gut.  As I analyzed why I was feeling this way my subconscious had a conversation with my conscious and I became aware that I felt anxious because my next day to work at the hospital is on Monday and I’m not looking forward to it. 

Why you may ask?  This coveted job as a CNA should have me jumping for joy, especially as a student nurse right? 

Wrong, actually when I think of going up to my unit, I feel like I want to heave.  At first I thought my skittishness was because of how physical my job really is, but as I considered further, I concluded my uneasiness was undeniably because of my incompetency with my abilities to do my job.  No one likes to go to their job feeling like they don’t know what they’re doing.  I'm talking about just the normal things like when to do when.  For example, when is the best time to get all of my patient walks in and when it comes to morning cares do I start at one end of the hallway and work my way down to the other end, or do I jump around on my list?  Also it seems difficult at times to chart after each task I do with each patient or I get called away from my COW to help another aide or nurse with something that by the time I do chart what happens I'm thinking I forgot something.  You know the feeling of being nervous of getting yelled at for something you should have known to do, but didn't either because you were too busy or ran out of time.

I disclosed my heartfelt feelings to my husband who reassured me that I haven’t really put in a full 40 hours on my own outside of my preceptor’s shadow yet.  He also summed it up for me, in a nutshell; that the only way I’m going to ease my stomachache is to jump full force into my job.  You see, I was hired to work casual (which equals at the very least 16 hours per pay period – 2 weeks) which is about an 8 hour shift per week.  One day a week of work isn’t nearly enough experience to get a handle on this tough job as CNA.  But at the tender age of 33, I don’t produce the same energy as I use to in my 20’s therefore it seems to be taking a lot out of me each shift I work.  If I do put in more hours per week, I’m going to feel like mush by the time I get my days off.  Plus people, don’t forget, that I have my other job at the clinic that although is much easier, still takes its own toll on me in a different way.  I don’t want to give up the clinic job because at some point I’ll want to come back to this atmosphere for future job advancement, but that’s for another post.

So my question is do I pick up more shifts throughout the summer like my hubby thinks, and gain more experience and feel more comfortable and less queasy.  This in turn will take a much harder toll on my body and give me less time with my family (opposite of why I chose a casual position in the first place for goodness sakes this is my summer break, why shouldn’t I get a break?).

Or should I continue to work one shift per week at the hospital and pick up the rest of my needed hours at the clinic therefore giving me the break I need and hope eventually my anxiousness will subside with each week that passes?

S'More Granola Bars

First let me start by saying thank you to everyone who listens to me rant and vent on this blog.  I seem to sound like a helpless individual at times who whines a lot.  So I decided to take a break from complaining to write about something I enjoy, which is baking.

My son has his last day of tennis today and I asked him what kind of snack did he want me to make, and he said something chocolaty with marshmallows.  So I did a search for a dessert with that description and came upon the recipe girl who had just the treat - S'More Granola Bars- and after seeing a few of her pictures I thought that maybe I could make it too.



This first picture is of the oats prior to toasting in the oven.  Yum, I guess it's important to NOT use the quick cooking oats, but the old fashioned ones instead.





Toasted Oats

This is a picture of the Rice Krispies that I actually ended up adding more of later on.





Rice Krispies



This picture is of the butter I melted and it's only a half stick, but I added another half to equal a whole later on to make the batch bigger.

Butter

This picture is of the toasted oats and Rice Krispies mixed together.

Oats and Krispies





This picture is of the marshmallows not quite melted, I chose to change up the recipe a bit because I didn't have corn syrup, so I followed the original Rice Krispie recipe instead.





Lumpy Marshmallows

 

This picture is of the smooth and creamy marshmallows and it ended up looking like frosting.




Creamy Mallows





This picture is after I combined all the wet and dry ingredients and pressed them down in my baking sheet .  I ended up spraying Pam Non-Stick cooking spray on the back of my 1 C measuring cup and smoothed and pressed it down successfully. 

Pressed



This picture is after I spread the top layer of marshmallows and chocolate chips evenly on top of the pressed mixture.



I tried to evenly spread the marshmallows and chips

Next, the recipe called to flatten the marshmallows because when you put it in the oven the marshmallows fluff up again.  So I used another baking sheet and sprayed Pam over the back so they wouldn't stick.

press hard

Then I put it in the oven on the low Broil setting just long enough to brown the marshmallows, don't over bake them or they'll burn.

I

I could have left it in longer but was worried they would burn

Voilà here is the finished product, please excuse my low lighting of my kitchen in these photos.  I finished them last night and they were a hit in my house.  I shared one with my neighbor and she liked them too.