At times I question whether my teenage daughter (14) will grow up happy or psychotic. She has deep seeded anger problems towards her father and mixed with her little control over what goes on in our household equals many days of storminess between her and her father.
At first I thought this was all normal teenage stuff, but then last night I talked to her and I wonder if she may be slightly delusional as well.
First to set the record straight I have always allowed my daughter to be open and communicate what she feels with me, and last night was no different. Another argument broke out (despite a contract between daughter and dad to set some boundaries), and in the end my daughter was to blame for her actions. This set her off to the point that she admitted to me she wished she could punch a stop sign and that her anger was so pent up that she thinks she could hit the sign to the ground. I tried to explain to her that her strength and anger while completely valid, will do more harm than good and she would probably break all her bones in her hand and wrist. She seemed so set on hurting my husband for all his past hurts emotionally to her that she wasn’t willing to see what she had done wrong and actually thought the opposite that she wasn’t to blame at all. That is where part of my concern comes in, and during the heat of everything she didn’t see where her responsibility was in all of what happened.
Ultimately after I heard from both her and my husband and helped to work through all their hurt feelings for the night, much later in the evening my daughter came to apologize to me if what happened hurt my feelings, but my main concern was back to my daughter’s future happiness.
I tried to explain that my husband will always have power over my daughter if she doesn’t chose to let go of some of this past hurt and anger he’s caused her. She seems so caught up in the present of how she was hurt and how to handle her anger that she’s not interested in thinking beyond today.
I know I’m absolutely insufficient with dealing with something like this. I fear that I’m not saying the right thing. In hindsight I should have prayed with her or directed her to a bible passage that could have helped her.