Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I had another disturbing dream last night, this time I was lovingly staring into my husband’s eyes and we were having a serious talk.  He told me he couldn’t handle the stress of being both dad and mom to our kids and putting in all the hours at work that he does.  He told me he loved me very much but couldn’t stay married in this arrangement anymore.  He needed someone who could give him the same amount attention that he’s capable of giving, more evenly.

Instead of dropping out of nursing school, I obliged his requests and let him leave the marriage.  I was devastated, because instead of moving far away from him, I just went next door and we swapped spouses with another couple.  All the while I was seeing him getting acquainted with another woman who was willing to do all the things I use to do for him, including cooking him supper, sitting on the front porch and smiling while chit-chatting, but most importantly just the lovely little things that make a couple complete.  Which include having conversations about the positive and negative parts of their day and confiding about desires and dreams of their futures.  In this dream, MY husband was doing all of this without me, all the while I was sitting by the wayside next door.
Every once in awhile I would sneak over to “their” house when the other women was out, so I could talk to my husband and see if things were working well.  He would tell me that things were slow in coming along with this new woman.  He said he would never stop loving me and things would never be as good with this woman as he had them with me, but wasn’t willing to come back to me.

I was crushed and devastated and when I woke up this morning I had a hard time believing this was just a dream, I was nearly shaking while brushing my teeth because I was that upset.

I know I’ve been a studying fool lately with the amount of tests and school work, and the inadequate amount of sleep is wearing on me.  I know I haven’t been to church in what seems like forever even though I promised myself I’d attend more with having my Sunday’s off from work.  And the correct dosage of Holy Spirit each week is important to me to stay balanced which I obviously am missing.
But I can’t help but wonder am I irreplaceable in this marriage?  You hear all the time, at work that people are always replaceable and you’re never as important as you think, but does that ring true in marriage too?


  1. That's an awful dream. I'm sorry!

    Talk to him, you are obviously worried about your changing roles.

  2. Maybe some more time with him and going to church would be a start. The stress of studying, school and balancing family is tough, but if you both see the goals then obtainable. Exchanging a spouce is not like replacing a coworker. You know if your marriage?

    Remember it is a dream and you will get a different answer to what they mean from every expert.

    I still fall off building and fly in my dreams, what does that mean?

  3. XY - I'll be talking to him tonight.

    NPO - Such a balancing act indeed. I gotta say it was the weirdest thing to think I could just switch spouses like that. I don't fall off buildings much anymore in my dreams, but I do dream of flying among other things. Haha :)

  4. It's only a dream...remember that - first and foremost. (such a vivid dream!) YOUR dream - not your husband's!!

    It may be the result of your subconscious manifesting itself... anxiety about time taken away from your family due to studies combined with your husband suggesting you all should move (you mentioned in a past post)... never mind pressures from school.

    I wouldn't put much stock into the dream - because it isn't reality - thank goodness! - but you might want to take a look at where the anxiety is coming from... :)

  5. Maybe it's a good time to re-evaluate either the amount or the quality of the time you're spending with him?

    I know that I've had to take a good look at the time I've been spending with my wife. If you want to chew the fat over this, feel free to hit me up.

  6. CC - My husband kept reminding me last night that it was "just a dream", but then made a joke that he was going to find a sweet booty call somewhere, so you see my anxiety must stem from his jokes too. :-)

    Absentbabinski, what be your email?

  7. Men arent all that great when it comes to what is kosher for women as far as "jokes" go... I would have told him that saying that hurt my feelings ...