What on Earth is Going on Here?

70% = 35/50 that means I got 15 wrong on my big 7 credit foundational class exam today.  I tried to hold in my disappointment but my fellow classmates could see through my disguise, at first a few people were staring at me because they thought I was going to cry but I didn't. 

After asking around, others had scores just as low as mine but not many.  I have a meeting set up tomorrow to talk to a few of my classmates who scored in the 90’s to hear some better studying techniques because I'm sure my way if flawed. 

Later I saw my hubby and my tummy did a flip and I explained to him my score and problem with the test.  He tried to talk to me about it, but at one point I got frustrated and just threw up my hands in the air and let the tears flow. 

Then that nasty negative self doubt started creeping in and I started feeling like I knew I wasn't cut out for this nursing school adventure.  I was thinking I have no business taking these classes and trying to "fool" myself into thinking I should be a nurse. 

Finally with red rimmed eyes I talked to my oldest sister tonight on the phone and she yanked me from my sinking ship and slapped me back into reality telling me that this one test doesn't define me and to get over it.  She gave me another studying technique for next time and told me that some nurses are just better with patients than they are with getting every right answer on a test. 

I love my sister, especially when she had the right thing to say at the right time!

Week 5 Wrap-Up

Thursday I took my first Pharmacology test and it was a “scratch off” similar to a lottery ticket, pretty awesome because it gives you instant feedback and you know your score immediately.  It was 30 questions multiple choice 2 pts each and I got a 54/60 (which equals 90%) and it was a little lower than I wanted of course, but I’m okay with it.  I think first tests are always harder because you never really know what will be on the test, but pray you covered the right stuff, haha.

Monday for our foundational (7 credit) class we have a test that I’m more troubled about because it covers more than just what we’ve covered in lecture like the skills we’ve been checked off on.  We have to average higher than 73% on all of our tests or we risk having to take the class over again.  I’m thinking I’ll be just fine but you know how that can stress a student out.

What’s funny is that I’ve been practicing NCLEX questions in my evenings with my hubby who insists on taking the quizzes with me.  Then it becomes a competition thing where I want to answer more questions right than him because I’m the nursing student after all, but surprisingly he tends to get more of them right than me.  My hubby says it’s because the questions are more common sense than anything and that I must be thinking too much about the specifics of them. 

Either way I better get better at these darn questions so that in 2.5 years I’ll be set to take the test.  My classmates think I’m insane for practicing these questions so early, but my hubby agreed with XY’s way of thinking that the earlier the better.  My hubby said that I’ll have 2.5 years of practice and my classmates will not, who knows??  Maybe I can smoke the NCLEX exam in less than an hour; we’ll see which of my classmates will be talking then!

My Favorite Pen!

This is my most favorite pen in the world.  The Zebra F-301, it's a nice fine point and retractable.  I would suggest it to anyone who likes the fine point kind.  Also I'm a fan of Bic round stic fine.

Nurse's Watch - Thanks MOM

My mom sent me a gift in the mail today and it was a nurse's watch.  How thoughtful and fun, now I'll wear it always.  It also has an Indiglo feature and glows in the dark.

Here's a picture of TGIF's.  Yumm!

Oh and how can I forget this funny picture my son took of a t-shirt while we were in the mall shopping.

Simplicity

Last Thursday in my Pharm class we were able to touch and play a little bit with some needles, vials, "fake (skittle)" pills, we practiced using a syringe to suck up some mouth wash and I had so much fun!  I even got to touch a safety cap needle top and was able to play with these items, unlike when I’m nosey in the doc's office touching things I shouldn’t.

With all of these hands on classes I have been so excited and enamored to learn and absorb all that has been said in class that it's hard to remember that I'm not just learning for the fun of it, but to actually be tested.  So then I have to make sure to take notes and then I'm not enjoying myself as much because I'm busy trying to remember what I should be writing down that's important for testing.

Oh gone are the days that I could just keep my head in the clouds and enjoy learning things at face value.  As an adult I see this happen more often, that I’m snapped back into reality so quick that the enjoyment of the little things escapes much quicker.  Just last week on my way home from an intense lecture at school I took a moment and enjoyed the way the sunshine was spreading it warmth and light on to the street in front of me.  I was so caught up in the sunshine’s simple beauty that I almost stopped my car so I could make the moment last longer. 

My hubby sometimes refers to my simple mindedness like Winnie the Pooh Bear content with his head stuffed with fluff watching butterflies play and dance all day. 
What's wrong with that?

Totally Rocked It

Last night I totally rocked skinny jeans with high heels and a spaghetti strapped shirt with a black sparkly cardigan and Farrah Fawcett hair.  My husband had his department Christmas party at one of the local taverns, where he DJ'ed and I was the Designated Driver.  I had to work earlier in the day but once I got there all dolled up it felt so great to have my husband "swoon" over me.

Complainer Pants

This nursing school thing just seems out of my grasp. 

I want to do my best but keep waiting to hear of bad news like I bombed a test or something.  Well I should hold my tongue because our first test is this coming Thursday for Pharmacology, and I'll probably blog about it good or bad.

Anyway I feel like a chicken with my head cut off running around with my days all swirling together and I don't know if I'm coming or going.  Maybe it's just me and the way I handle things but I feel like I can't let things slip like I use to with my other classes (once in awhile) but that I need to stay on top of things so much so that I'm paranoid I'm going to ruin everything. 

Uggh I hate feeling like this, it’s a cross between feeling helpless and terribly worried that the instructor will see through my facade of temporary smarts that has gotten me thus far.

Recently I was intrigued to read on another’s blog of wanting to practice for NCLEX questions (I’m with you on that one) and some advice that was given to them of going over 10-15 NCLEX questions each night.   Really each night, do we have that kind of time?  I have a hubby and kids and time like that isn't available for me, but more reserved for those fresh out of high school with no kids, hubby’s or jobs to concentrate their time on.  How could someone like me plan to get it all done, do I start sacrificing my precious sleep?

Lastly this week I had my first clinical at a nursing home and got to “visit” with a patient in hopes of gathering health history information from them.  While I was pretty nervous to walk around with my fancy scrubs and lab coat on, it didn’t seem too impressive to the patients or staff for that matter (humbled yet again). 

What I also learned about myself is that I need to really practice allowing for silence, especially with the elderly.  I find that I want to help finish their sentences, or I don’t want the interview process to be too uncomfortable or difficult for them to remember important dates and names.

Goodbye/Hello

Well sad to say it but my Pontiac Grand Prix '94 died on Wednesday and we had to say goodbye.  The auto mechanic that delivered the bad news to us offered $190 for it so we couldn't pass it up.  Trust me when I say this car was in bad shape, we bought it two years ago for $500 and just expected it to get us through 10 months of use, but it last 2 years. 

Not my actual car, because mine had a lot of deer dents in the hood.

Since the transaction happened so quickly between the auto mechanic and my husband we didn't have a second car in mind to buy at the time.  So after quickly scanning Craigslist we happened upon this beauty.

Yes well I realize this could be a gas guzzler but we at least can fit our whole family including the dog and anything else we need like groceries or luggage etc.  It's so wonderful to be able to have a more reliable vehicle so I'm not so nervous thinking it will break down after every turn like the green car.

PS, this week along with many others just seems to be going by like a blur and I never seem to know what the date is from day to day.  Anyone else feeling like this lately?  I think I need a spiritual revival to get some things put in better perspective.

Getting to know me

I thought since I have no interest in filling out that "blog about yourself in 30 days" challenge I would post this instead.

What is your occupation right now?
Mom, Wife, Student, Friend, Daughter, Sister, Trouble Maker

What color are your socks right now?
Bright White

What are you listening to right now?
Country (not my favorite) because it’s on at work

What was the last thing that you ate?
Chocolate Chip Cookie

Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes

Last person you spoke to on the phone?
A patient

How old are you today?
LOL – 33

What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Football (Go Vikings!)

What is your favorite drink?
DIET MOUNTAIN DEW

Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes, lot of colors, red, brown, black, blonde highlights, brown lowlights....

Favorite food?
Pizza

What is the last movie you watched?
The Killer Inside Me with Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, and Kate Hudson

Favorite day of the year?
Toss up between Halloween and Christmas

How do you vent anger?
talk, sometimes yell (blush), cry

What was your favorite toy as a child?
Cabbage Patch Kid

What is your favorite season?
Fall

Cherries or Blueberries?
Neither, I’m not a berry fan.

Living arrangements?
house

When was the last time you cried?
Valentine’s Day (my hubby is the greatest)

What is on the floor of your closet?
shoes, suitcase, sweatshirts, recyclable cloth bags.

What did you do last night?
talked to my kids, spent time with hubby and worked on Pharmacology homework

What are you most afraid of?
not being happy with my life or being isolated from human contact

Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
cheeseburgers

Favorite dog breed?
Border Collies

Favorite day of the week?
Any day where I can sleep in

How many states have you lived in?
lived in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Indiana, Texas

Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds

What is your favorite flower?
Lily of the Valley or Bleeding Hearts

Email

Upon the advice of  Marianne's comment I have added a picture on the side bar to your right giving you all my email address to use if anyone wants to email me. 
I do not know how to make my picture of my email address into a button that allows you to start typing an email, but at least you know what it is if you choose to send me a quick note.
In other words:  frazzledrazzlern@gmail.com
PS I'll try to check this email address but it's not my primary account so have some patience people.

Lovely being in Love

Valentine's Day was a BIG success!

My dozen roses

My ring box

My ring inside my box



My ring




Cards for the kids



Flowers for my daughter from dad







Candy for my son from dad





Let's Just Say

Let's just say that person A works really hard at finishing their prerequisites to get into nursing school, gets accepted into nursing school and is nearly half way through their first semester of nursing school, only to find out that person B (person A's significant other) wants to apply for a job that is too good to pass up, in a state down south where they have lived before, AND person B wants person A to see what it would be like to transfer to a nursing school down south and quite possibly uproot the whole family to live there in the event that person B is offered the job that they applied for??

Now let’s just say that person A and B were planning to make a move down south eventually after person A graduates nursing school and gets their repayment of loans started so that Person A's credit score can increase and buying a house would be attainable and person A and B's kids would be old enough to not care as much etc. etc.

What does person B expect person A to do when an idea like this is just dropped into person A's lap?

Week 3 Wrap-Up

  This week was quite nerve rattling for all of the nursing students in my class.  Besides having to read 5 chapters for Pharmacology, we had our big skills check off today.

My check off was scheduled for 9am, but the students ahead of us were running behind.  My partner and I had to pick a slip of paper from a hat that had a scenario of three skills that along with vitals and hand washing we were suppose to perform to get a pass/fail grade.  My three skills were transfer from bed to chair with severe right sided weakness, feeding, and oral care with dentures.  I was doing a little happy dance because these were easy skills for me.  My partner went first with her skills and then it was my turn but after I completed my set of vitals and hand washing I totally blanked on what my other three skills were and had to be reminded by my instructor. 

The instructor we got was a little on the harder side as far as she wasn’t as willing to remind us if we were doing something incorrect like the other instructor but I’m glad because it helps us to be more confident in what we do when we figure it out on our own.

Let me tell you my hand was shaking so bad that I nearly couldn’t pump up the bp cuff with my instructor looking over my shoulder and my partner staring at me.  Oh the pressure.  But after it was all said and done I passed each of my skills and got a “Good Job” written on my vitals!

Ahhh I’ve been able to take a deep breath now that it’s done and over. 

Next week is our first clinical at the nursing home to get our tour of the facility and meet the client we’ll be assigned to.  I’m so thrilled to get to start wearing my scrubs and get this health history assignment started.

On Thursday we were given the assigned reading in one of our books called Understanding the Nursing Process to read chapters 1-7, and after looking through the book it’s only 7 chapters long.  WE HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE BOOK THIS WEEKEND!  Goodness, I don’t even read whole books in one weekend for pleasure let alone required reading.  But I’ll be giving it my best shot, oh and not to forget to mention another 4 chapters in Pharm is due for next Thursday and I think its going to cover medication dosages.  Uggh.

On a more personal note, I went in to the urgent care this morning because I thought I had an ear infection but it turns out I didn’t.  Maybe the pain in my ear is due to clenching my teeth because of stress.  Who knows?

Color Inventory Learning Styles

In class yesterday we had a Color Inventory Learning Styles quiz to determine which color attribute we identify with.  There were four sections and you had to put a check mark by each phrase that you believed applied to you.  The more check marks you had in any of the sections determined your color attribute. 

Gold Attributes signified people who are organized. 


Green Attributes signified people who ask why? like needing to know the big picture. 






Orange Attributes signified people who are active/energetic thriving on competition. 







And then there were the Blue Attributes (where I feel into) signifying people who are touchy/feely, mediators, optimistic, caretakers, passionate, peacemakers, need to feel "special", always a kind word, enjoys symbols of romance, strong sense of spirituality, sensitive to needs of others, peace with harmony and relationships, motivate and encourage others, and cooperative rather than competitive, non confrontational. 

Yup that pretty much sums me up, almost to a fault.  Humm, I hope these qualities and learning styles make me an awesome nurse in 2.5 years.

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

Praise God for His grace for all of us sinners. 
I love the lyrics in this song:

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.

Yes It's True, I Went There

Absolutely nothing compares to making love to my husband to love music!  Remember all those songs when you were a teenager that would come on the radio and you wish you had a significant other to make out with and snuggle with and really just wish you had a person that yearned for you.  

Sorry to those who don't want to hear about what I have to say on this subject but this is my blog and after almost 14 years of marriage I feel renewed each and every time we're intimate.  Like my hubby says "the naughties like to feel nice" hehehe, what a great way to relieve stress.  Now everyone grab your significant other and crank up your favorite love music and make love!  Amen, I love you baby!

Week 2 Wrap-Up

Jeeper’s when I say I’ve got lots of reading to get done I’m not joking.  Just for this coming week in my Pharmacology class I have chapters 4-11 to read with 2 additional readings, in my Ethics/Theory class I have 2 chapters to read along with 7 additional readings, then in my Foundations class I have 3 chapters to read and 5 additional readings.  Now all of these class instructors also have additional handouts that they give to you in class to read.  Goodness I feel like all these headaches I’ve been feeling lately are related to the reading requirements.

In my skills lab we’ve been practicing some CNA skills that we’ll be tested on the 11^th to show that we are ready to work with the elderly in the Nursing home settings, but aside from our skills we’ve been working on we also got to try out other equipment that I haven’t used before including the Temporal thermometers, and I just had a ball using it.  Along with the temporal machines we used an O2 Sat meter, oral digital thermometer, and classroom stethoscope to listen for BP’s and the apical pulse.  Our instructor had a teacher’s stethoscope where there are two sets of ear tips so she could listen and the student could listen and agree on the things you hear being the same.  For example the “glub glub” of the heart counting as one beat.  Very cool!

I was able to get a chance to bond with fellow classmates this week when after a few of us went to open lab to practice our skills we had about 2 hours before our next class started, so  we all agreed to go to a Mexican restaurant for lunch.  I can not stress to new nursing students out there how important this is to gather outside of class time to learn about and grow relationships with each other.  We laughed and got to know each other better and we even talked nursing student talk and that made me feel important because someone else knew what I was going through and talking about medically.

On to week three if I ever get done with this reading, oh and also GO Green Bay (even though I'm a Viking's fan) for the Super Bowl tomorrow.

Educational Film

Yesterday in class we watched a video called A Nurse I am, which is a

32-minute educational film, features four nursing role models – nurses who are competent and compassionate and have a deep commitment to their patients and to their profession. All of them are recipients of the Cherokee Inspired Comfort Award (an annual award sponsored by Cherokee to call attention to the immense dedication, compassion, intelligence, and skill that nurses and other healthcare professionals demonstrate every day).

Even though this video was short I ended up wiping away tears at the end, but then after looking around at other students no one else seemed to be crying. 

Either I’m pretty emotional right now or I had better grow a thicker skin and quick.