I’M SO STINKING NERVOUS!
Nervous for what you may ask? Nervous for tomorrow being my first day back to school for my final semester of school.
Nervous because why? Let me list a few for you: 1) because I’m scared of being overwhelmed with mountains of homework like last semester where I had a hard time keeping things organized. 2) because I’m worried about the (two) 10-12 hour clinical days per week, consisting of up to four patients at a time (yikes). 3) worried that I won’t be able to absorb my time with friends and the small moments of nursing school and that before I know it, I’ll be done. 4) most importantly worried I won’t pass the NCLEX at the end.
I’ve been reading blogs of friends who have graduated and passed the boards, and I’ve even see upper classmen live to tell about how their strategies worked for them or not. I’ve listened and stored lots of advice in my brain. And I’m not saying I’m better or unique, but I just think I’m going to have a harder time passing the darn thing than most other people.
I can almost guarantee I’ll take longer than the minimal 75 questions to pass the NCLEX, and if the screen does shut off after 75 questions it won’t be because I passed. I mean at least that’s how I feel deep down inside. I almost hate to admit that because I don’t know what the Lord has in store for me. Maybe I’ll pass just fine because that’s the picture he painted for my future instead of my insecure one, and if so then AMEN! But what if I’m humbled and I don’t pass the first time, what if I don’t pass the second time. I’m not prepared for that!
I don’t think I could broadcast my exam date even on my blog because I’d be so embarrassed if I didn’t pass the first time around. But I guess if I do announce a date for when I’m taking the NCLEX, and I don’t write a follow-up within a week after taking it, then you’ll know it didn’t go well. UGH!!! Why is this so hard to even want to deal with it? It’s just another exam, testing me on content and application; I’ve been doing this for 4 semesters so far, so I should have nothing to worry about, right? Right!
Then why am I so nervous?