Scapegoat

Via

I’m hurt, upset, and a little pissed off!  This semester by far has been the hardest to handle emotionally and mentally.  I’ve told you in a recent post that we’ve been working in groups but group work is nearly impossible when you have people with such broad academic approaches.  For instance I work in a group of five women, where we have a perfectionist, a leader/micromanager, an airhead who’s flighty, another girl who would rather complain, sigh, or smoke than get work done, and then you have me.  I would put myself right in the higher part of the middle closer to the leader slot.  I definitely get my work done, but if someone wants to lead then by all means I allow them. 

Recently we had to submit a midterm peer evaluation on our group members.  First let me tell you that I thought the best approach to this situation was to give everyone in our group high marks to keep the waters calm until the end of the semester.  Then at the end of the semester if things didn’t get better I would give an honest overall peer evaluation and tell everyone how they could have done better or let them know how well they did.  Let me say that it would have been STUPID to give any of my group members low points because it would be awkward finishing projects with them knowing I had said something bad about them.  Also keep in mind these peer evals are graded.

Moving on, Saturday we heard back from the professor about our overall midterm peer evals and guess what???  I got docked points.  In fact, instead of a solid 100% like I expected, I got a measly 88%.  I was shocked!  What it came down to was a bad grade on a concept map/care plan that could have synthesized better on my section.  However I must state that on the four previous assignments I provided the same kind of work with great grades to back them up.  It was just this particular assignment the group was upset with some low marks we received because a different professor in the class (who is a crazy psycho with an agenda to grade everyone poorly) had given us our grades.  I just felt that people were upset and took out their anger on my peer eval.  I ended up being the scapegoat. 

So in the past, I’ve never really lost sleep over things like a bad test grade or a smart remark from a classmate, but this whole peer eval made me toss and turn last night.  I couldn’t stop thinking over and over in my head how wrong I’d been done and who would be stupid enough to give a poor peer eval half way through the semester??  My real question is how I continue on with the semester.  Knowing I have to work with these women on other projects?  

My first reaction was to confront the whole group, but I know for a fact no one would own up to admitting they wrote the “bad” peer eval for me.  And when I put myself in their shoes I wouldn’t want to either.  So getting the truth isn’t going to happen. 

So now, do I just keep every interaction with them professional, to-the-point, and business-like?  Do I treat them coldly for doing me wrong?  Do I break down and cry to them explaining how hurt I felt over the fact that no one could just talk to me about the issue vs. filling out a peer eval and negatively affecting my grade?  What is wrong with people now-a-days?