Thursday, September 12, 2013

Zazzy RN

Well after many weeks of soul-searching humility, coupled with lots of blood sweat and tears of studying every free moment. 

I’m happy to announce I passed my NCLEX!!!!!  Yahooooooo, I’m finally a registered nurse.

What a difference 10 weeks of hard-core studying will do to help a person pass that all-important test. 

It couldn’t have happened any sooner either.  My boss thankfully allowed me to continue my nursing orientation since graduating.  So, all the while working full-time as a graduate nurse on my unit gaining experience, I was also studying for my retest.  I was soo very thrilled to announce to everyone that I had passed and was official; I got high-fives, and dessert!

The afternoon when I left the testing center, for the second time, I walked out to my car much more confident than the first time.  I had taken my first break after question 62, and promised myself to chill out, relax because I was ready to sit for the entire thing again if I had to.  However, after answering the 75th question the screen shut off and I was done.  I drove to the nearest wi-fi location (McDs) and checked the Pearson Vue trick (watch this video that explains what I mean) and saw the “good pop-up” screen and squealed with glee!  Then proceeded to purchase a meal, hehe.
Weird huh?  I went from taking it the first time with the maximum amount of questions to taking it the second time with the minimum amount of questions, either way makes no difference to me.  I'm a nurse :-)

Oh my I have to admit I never thought in a million years that I would have failed the test the first time.  I really thought only DUMMIES failed their first time. But once again God showed me that I need another slice of humble pie and that I wasn’t truly ready.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and after I swallowed the huge pill of denial and acceptance I realized He was right.  I wasn’t ready, and after the extra hard work I put in, I’m glad I know now what I didn’t know then.

I owe a big thank you to my husband for (the list could go on and on, but I’ll sum it up):

1) helping me to step out of the denial and own the failure quickly

2) reaching out to one of my nursing instructors (who is one of the smartest women I know), and somehow talking her into agreeing to tutor me

3) continuing to wear the single-parent hat with our two kids over the entire summer when his tank was on empty

4) encouraging me when there was no encouragement available; this man is my rock, my partner, and my heart.

I didn’t tell my hubby my retesting day(because of how ill he was on the original date), instead I said he would know I passed the test because he would see that I got my hair cut and colored.  His reaction was priceless.  There’s no fooling the fooler, interestingly enough he already knew my retesting day and with the help of my son, surprised me with a spraying of silly string and noise makers and a balloon that said “congrats”.




Amen for God’s faithfulness, especially about 2 weeks before my retesting date, when I had a break-down moment of insanity and instability.  I reached out and up, and asked God to help me…and save me.  He redirected my path and reminded me to be faithful and obedient.  That he didn’t bring me this far not to see me through.  After the help of repetitious prayer, and lots of broadcasts from  James MacDonald on Perseverance, and Faithfulness, I was restored.  My doubt vanished and was replaced with serenity. 
Here are a couple verses that helped me through it all:

John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don’t be troubled or afraid.

(my favorite) Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Matthew 11: 28-29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fires, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct your paths.

Matthew 14:31 “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

James 1:6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Lastly I want to share a quote that helped me and spoke directly to me:

The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for.
- Susan Gale


  1. CONGRATS! CONGRATS! CONGRATS! So glad to see you were back. Just know that everyone was behind you and thinking of you!

    1. Thanks Christine, I'm happy to be back. I just wanted to focus every stitch of energy into passing those stupid boards. Now I too, understand why nursing blogs fizzle out after the student becomes a nurse. Life is hard as a nurse and who wants to spend their precious off time blogging... I'm debating starting up a new blog altogether different from nursing...

  2. You did it my sweet friend!!!
    Now you get to do what you love & never have to take the test again.
    Soooo glad to see you back with that sassy new hairstyle ;)

    1. Aww thanks Misty for the hair compliment. Thanks for listening to my complaints right after taking the original NCLEX when I contacted you on fb. I was so miserable and sad, but didn't have time to go into detail. Life is much better on the other side of passing.

  3. Girl I had NO doubt you would pass. Sometimes even the BEST nurses fail the NCLEX the first time. I'm not even going to stress over it. Heck, I've even allowed myself one failure if I need it. You are going to rock this nursing thing!! Glad your back!

    1. Thanks Candi! I'm glad to be back and glad I passed. I'm looking forward not backward and marching on.

  4. Yeah! I have been monitoring your blog hoping that you had not disappeared forever. I needed to hear the rest of the story :) Isaiah 43:2 is one of my favorite scriptures when I struggle. Congrats Zazzy, RN,BSN!

    1. Thanks RN Debbie! I don't know how you do it being a nurse and still having a good attitude. I just wrote another blog post, where I am describing how overwhelmed I'm feeling. I just want to quit. Yikes go from feeling on top of the world to feeling low again. When is the emotional roller coaster going to stop??? Lol!