Walking a Little Taller

Today was my first day of clinical on the orthopedic floor and I was leery.  Last night I tried to get to bed by 830pm, but didn’t fall asleep until 1030pm.  I was up by 515am, showered, dressed, and out the door by 545am.  No time for make-up and hair products having to be to the hospital so early. 

Last semester our clinical days were only 4 hour days and this semester our Tuesdays are 8 hours and Wednesdays are 5 hours. 

Last semester my instructor was so damaging to the health and growth of all of us nursing students because she choose to teach by intimidation preying on our trepidations. 

This semester our instructor is full of grace and willingness to relate to our insecurities.  All the while she is feeding our minds with true confidence having faith in our abilities that my heart sings from the mountain tops. 

Today I took care of a pt. with a fractured hip needing PT in the morning and afternoon and was able to encourage them to succeed.  I was able to administer Heparin in their lower right abdomen, using my Carpuject.   I was able to remove their JP drain on the outer left thigh without any complications.  I gave the best CNA skills to this patient by lathering them up with lotion, using mouth wash when cleaning their mouth, washing their hair, and applying deodorant just to name a few.  I administered their 0800 (7 sch), 0900, 1000, 1100, 1400 meds successfully.  It was after one tricky pill that didn’t go down very well that the nurse and I decided to use the pill crusher and apple sauce for subsequent meds which was much more successful. 

Overall I just felt more comfortable and confident in both my CNA and nursing skills. 

At one point the PT guy turned to his assistant and said” ask the nurse to stand on my right”, so when I twirled around the room momentarily looking for the nurse that I realized he was talking about me.  I WAS THE NURSE, hahaha, it felt so nice to hear someone referring to me as the nurse in the clinical setting that I thought I could get used to it and it made me walk a little taller the rest of the afternoon.

Searching for a Backpack

I’m looking for a new backpack for school.  I’ve seen quite a few styles other classmates are carrying around, some with lots of pockets, zippers, and lots of different colors.  I’ve even seen some threaded with reinforcement that looks similar to a bike lock.  I’d be interested in one that has a few pockets for all my nursing knick-knacks, something that could carry my laptop and all my books, and something that is comfortable with cushioning. 

Maybe I'm asking too much for there to be some kind of backpack out there that fits all of these requirements?  I’d like it to last more than one semester long before holes from wear and tear develop in the bottom. 

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Favorite Verse

Jeremiah 29:11-14  ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

After reading Debbie's post I felt the need to insert my favorite Bible verse here and ask if anyone else had a favorite Bible verse they’d be willing to share.  Just whatever verse that resonates with you whether it’s common or rare, it’s the verse that motivates you and inspires you and lifts you up.

Moving on, today I had a great Friday to a fulfilling week of school.  Being a TA (Teaching Apprentice) I was asked to introduce myself to the new second semester sophomore students and get to know them better up in skills lab today.  I helped with proper placement of stethoscopes and verified a few BP’s as the newbies were getting a feel for what to expect.  It was such a great feeling knowing I’m not in their shoes anymore but being able to help them with whatever I can.  I think they’ll feel more comfortable asking me questions and demonstrating my assessment skills better than the instructor.  In about two months I’ll be joining them up on the hospital clinical rotation and helping them approach patients at the bedside with basic CNA skills and beginning assessments.  IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT!

What I’m realizing with my other classes is that instead of working on learning new skills and being checked off on them, we’re doing a TON more book work.  I LOVE book work, yes it’s tedious, yes it’s difficult at times, but I think it’s a great way to reinforce what you know and feel accomplished after you get it done.

Tonight will be my last Friday not working for probably the rest of the semester (until May).  I’ve already placed a call to my hubby at work asking where he’d like to take me for a date night.  I can’t wait to just absorb some time with him!

Summer Internships??

Almost 2 months ago I filled out applications with (4) hospital internships for this coming summer.  The first hospital denied me a week after turning in the application.  I was hoping to hear back from one of the other three hospitals before returning from my winter break but I didn’t.  After I started back to school this week, I heard from friends of their being offered more than one internship spot and having to choose between the two.  Humphhh this makes me a little worried, jealous, and mad.  I hope the hospital recruiters didn’t forget about me…

This week is officially half way done and my head is swimming.  Monday went pretty good with our Transitions class.  It’s a class about the different transitions in life regarding pregnancy, birth, and death and how all that relates to the body and mind.

 Clinical will be for 8 hours on Tuesday and 4 hours on Wednesday on the Ortho/Surgical floor which I’m ecstatic about.  However I’m not thrilled with the papers and projects involved.  Just seems like a lot of work for just a (2) credit requirement. 

Thursday and Friday I have a physical, mental, and pathological health class that I’m not even sure what’s in store for me.  More papers and projects I’m sure, but at least no more skills lab learning new skills and being checked off on them. 

Lastly, I am a TA (Teaching Apprentice) on most Monday, Thursday, and Friday mornings for the first semester students up in the skills lab; walking them through assessments and helping them feel comfortable and confident in their new student nurse roles.

Oh on top of all that weekly school work, I work my other two jobs on Fridays for about 8 hours and Saturday’s for about 8 hours.  Hope I’m not biting off more than I can chew so if you don’t hear from me much this semester I’m sure you can piece together why. 

After hearing the amount of work needed in the first 6 weeks of class for just our clinical days I’m not sure where I’m supposed to find time to practice questions and study for the HESI.  Maybe I’ll just do a few each night and pray that’s enough to pass on the first try.  What a humble piece of pie nursing school is giving me each semester.

HESI Practice

The nurse in a primary care clinic is caring for a 68-year-old man.  History reveals that the client has smoked 1 pack of cigarettes per day for 45 years and drinks 2 beers per day.  He is complaining of a nonproductive cough, chest discomfort, and dyspnea.  The nurse hears isolated wheezing in the right middle lobe.  It would be MOST important for the nurse to complete which of the following orders?

1)      Pulmonary function tests

2)      Echocardiogram

3)      Chest X-ray

4)      Sputum culture

YUP, I’m studying for the HESI (Health Education Systems, Inc. The HESI exam tests comprehensive knowledge of nursing) coming up this semester. 

What’s funny is I looked for books to help study for the HESI and they kept coming back to NCLEX books, so yesterday when I went to pick up my rental books from my school library I picked up an NCLEX rental.  I’ve been told that if we don’t score at least a 950 or so, on the HESI, we’ll have to retake it and pay ($40).  Then if we don’t pass it for the second time we have to make a written plan/goal on how we’re going to try to study and pass the NCLEX and submit that to the powers that be. 

I AM THE WORLDS WORST TEST TAKER.  I can spend HOURS studying and sacrificing my time only to come out with a score between 75-80% on most exams.  I am jealous of the students who spend fewer hours and get higher test scores, so to say the least I’m scared poopless WORRIED!

Why is the long road to becoming a nurse so scary?

Semester Lovin'

Classes start on Monday 1/23 and I’m ready and rearing to go. The first two books and last book are for my classes, the middle three are for my benefit. I thought that Mosby was a great teacher when it comes to learning my fluid and electrolytes, pathophysiology, and pharmacology. I think if I can learn these areas really well then I’ll be able to understand more of what happens to each of the patients I take care of.  Unfortunately this area I was lacking in during last semester.  Things seemed to fly by and I didn’t catch all that I should have learned.  The last thing I want happening is to not know basic nurse information for the patients I’m taking care of.  Must know type of things like what different antihypertensives there are, or why someone would be developing edema on a certain area of the body what to do about it. 



I didn’t do so well in my 7 credit class this last semester which inevitably lowered my GPA. This means I could be out of the running for Honors but at this point I’m just glad I’m passing so I’m not worried.



This will be my 3^rd year 2^nd semester and will be involved with two full days of clinical Tuesday and Wednesdays with OB rotation, which sounds delightful!



I’ll have an opportunity to fulfill a cultural diversity section of our semester by visiting an Indian Reservation in North Dakota with a few other students and instructors. We’ve been told by other students who’ve already gone to expect to see lots of poverty. However I’ve also been told that a few students got to help deliver babies and give vaginal exams, I think that I’d be able to get more out of that experience than staying in town.

I'm just excited to get going through this semester seeing as last semester flew by so quickly I'm hoping this one does too.  The sooner I get through done the quicker I graduate and become a nurse.

Texas Trip - Part 3 (final)

It’s probably no surprise with previous posts that my hubby has made it known he’d like our family to move to Texas after I graduate nursing school.  Like I’ve said in the past we used to live there for a few years so we’re not strangers to the great state, however I’m still on the fence with my decision.  70% of the reason we visited Dallas was to check out hospitals and homes in the outlying areas to see what was out there.

I visited five hospitals and asked the nursing recruiters to take me on tours and answer the list of questions I had come up with.  Some of the recruiters were put off by my request and fumbled through my questions but I thought it was a genius idea my hubby came up with.  This experience allowed me to feel more comfortable unlike the usual interview situation where I have to sell myself; I switched gears and asked the recruiter to sell me on why I should choose them.  This allowed me practice when talking to these individuals for future situations in a more confident manner.  I left each recruiter with a 5x7 laminated sheet of paper with a snapshot of my accomplishments and contact information to keep on file.  One recruiter asked if she should make a copy of it so I could have it back (because it looked so fancy), but I said no it was for her records.  Another hospital recruiter said if I was licensed and ready to work, he’d hire me right away; that made me feel real good!

Pretty awesome poster I came across

 Lastly we visited six homes that were on the market within our price range and I absolutely fell in love with just about all of them.  What’s funny is the homes in the areas where we were looking are soo grand!  If you uprooted any of the houses we saw to the north (where we’re living now), you’d expect to pay double…no joke.  There was one that I especially fell in love with that sat farther back on the nearly four acre property.  I literally fell in love with every square inch of the house; as soon as I stepped into the eat-in kitchen and scanned the horizon outside I could completely imagine my kids and hubby playing in the front yard.  I imagined grandkids having lunches and snacks in the living areas.  I even imagined maybe installing a pool in the back yard. Obviously I know these properties won't be available when I graduate but they serve their purpose as the carrot dangling to keep me motivated and inspired to continue doing well in school.

Dream home and property taken from my camera phone

I have to say that my decision is closely starting to sway more closely to moving than I expected.  Thanks honey for taking me on vacation!

Texas Trip-Part 2

Christmas Day our family enjoyed a night at Medieval Times and if you’ve never gone there it’s pretty cool.  From the outside the building looks like a castle, and on the inside it looks awesome and castle-like too.  Our family was handed a yellow card which signified the yellow knight to whom we were expected to cheer on through the show.  Next we hung around the lobby enjoying free refills on our soda from the bar, in our neat goblets we purchased for *cough cough* a CRAZY healthy $24.  We saw lots of swords and princess hats for sale, the royalty thrones, and of course the dungeon.  Next we were seated and served our meal consisting of Focaccia bread with tomato bisque soup for our appetizer with NO utensils.   That’s right I said no utensils!  The following meal courses included the main dish of half a chicken including breast, wing, and leg and 1 piece of rib meat with 2 potato wedges.  Lastly for dessert we had a braided apple streusel dessert and all of it tasted yummy.  During the meal we had a two hour show of sword swinging, and jousting with hand-to-hand fighting on horses.  There were lots of tricks that the horses showed off with their quick feet too.  Over all our knight didn’t win but our family was completely entertained, so much so our kids both got autographs from our fighting yellow knight. 

Quick drive-by picture of downtown Dallas on my camera phone

Yellow Knight

Nice back side shot of the yellow knight

Anniversary of Renewal and Rejuvenation

I meant to write a post about part 2 of my Texas trip, but something important and disturbing has come up.

First let me tell you that I’ll be celebrating my fourth year anniversary of monumental proportions two weeks from today.  Back on January 18^th of 2008 I made a declaration that I was going to live obediently to God’s plan and will for my life.  I didn’t want to live under a jaded false definition of a person who I didn’t want to be anymore.  I wanted a renewal, rejuvenation, a new life.   So I bravely checked myself into rehab to end my 10 year battle of alcoholism. 

With God’s heavenly intercession I was able to figure out a plan to save my life.  Back when I first started my lifestyle of binge drinking I never set out to become addicted.  I liked the way alcohol made me feel, the way I felt when I drank.  I felt strong, confident, beautiful, warm, loved, sassy, tough, invincible, but never in a million years did I think I would fall in-love with alcohol.  I started my love with alcohol shortly after I moved away from home with my fiancé, I was only 18 and he was 20.  We drank for fun, for boredom, for any reason.  I think it helped me to feel more at ease with who I was and what I was experiencing with my first relationship and all the feelings that go with that.  I started to use alcohol as more of a crutch to help get me through the tough times as well.

Eventually my life became a life of misery, despair, and dependency on alcohol.  I couldn’t fathom waking up and not drinking during the evening.  When my hubby tried to persuade me to cut back or sober up for a few days, I vehemently fought against his ideas.  I could come up with every excuse to continue drinking.  I’ve heard of people who smoke and when they do certain house work chores they rewarded themselves with a cigarette.  I guess I looked at my drinking the same way.  When I got done cleaning the kitchen I would have a drink, or if I completely a load of laundry I would take a shot.  I thought it was fun to get a little tipsy before I would go grocery shopping, like it was a fun adventure.  After the kids were born I tried to wait until after they were in bed before I’d start my ritual. 

I will say this; I never was in denial that I had a problem.  I would have many heart-to-heart talks with my hubby and close family that I knew I was in a state of addiction.  I wasn’t ready to quit or didn’t know how to quit.  I remember many mornings waking up and going to a secluded spot near an open body of water and crying out to God to save me.  To help me turn away from this ugly beast that had a hold of me.  Yet all the while I was trying to figure out how I could manage to drink again that evening.  It was a nasty situation that I don’t wish upon my worst enemy.  Feeling trapped and helpless but thinking that I should have the strength to just quit.  Feelings of worthlessness kept floating through my drunken haze, as my husband would ask questions and I would draw blanks on not knowing the answers.  I would frequently black out after a certain time at night or number of drinks in my system only to find out the following morning from my husband what we did during the previous evening. Shame filled every pore of my being. 

There came a moment when I decided that I needed to change my life, probably the moment when I realized I was becoming a problem to my kids.  I knew I needed to get sober but I wasn’t sure how.  I knew the hospital in my town had a unit that helped patients through recovery so I called and made an appointment to see my primary doctor.  I felt the first amount of weight lift from my shoulders when I admitted my problem to my doc.  She was straight up with me and honestly asked what I wanted to do.  I openly told her that I didn’t have the ability to quit cold turkey, but that I wanted to go the route of rehab.  She was pleased and eager to set up the referral. 

Prior to my admittance in the hospital I had heard of miracles of God working in peoples’ lives in many ways but nothing I could say had ever happened to me before. The days leading up to my being admitted I was wishy-washy on my decision not knowing if I should really go through with it.  God had shown me the way, first I was given an autographed copy of the book Raised from The Dead by Frank Turner (must read).  I also seemed to be flooded by advertisements regarding getting help from addictions, or watching commercials on television from Jack and Rexella Van Empee about breaking addictions.  It seemed every time I had a thought not to go through with rehab one of these examples would keep reinforcing me to continue with getting help.

After I was admitted on a Friday and explained to the doctor that I needed to be back to work by Monday, he told me my success rate would be next to zero if I didn’t stay in a longer recovery program.  I knew I was ready to quit and that this step of going through rehab was enough for me.  I had no desire to go back to a life of destruction or disobedience to the Lord. 

So here I am nearly four years sober and loving myself and my life 100 times more than I ever did.  Six months after I was sober I enrolled in college to become a nurse.  I wanted to help others in the world who was suffering like me.  My husband was leery at first with the new me and there were times I didn’t think we’d make it.  Eventually we built trust in one another again and learned to grow together as a couple free from an alcohol base.  Life had new meaning to me and I felt like I could conquer the world. 

I’m not going to lie that I don’t sometimes think of those days of tipping back a few cold ones especially on the warm summer days.  However knowing that the Lord saved my life and transformed me into something new is more rewarding than the temporary fix of alcohol. 

Earlier this week a distant family member died from a drug overdose.  He was only 26 years old and was going to enter rehab shortly after the New Year.  Unfortunately he didn’t make it to the New Year.  I know that feeling of dread knowing that the end of the addiction is near and wanting to have one last binge.  For me this has brought to surface a wave of sadness for his family. He was so young, full of life and possibilities that could have lain ahead of him if he would have gotten clean and sober sooner.  Actually my family was able to see him just days before he died.  While he seemed quiet and kept to himself he seemed loving and kind around us.  I used this situation to teach my kids that people who suffer from addictions to drugs/alcohol come in many shapes and forms.  They don’t always look like the fall down, tripping over themselves, high individuals portrayed on television.

My New Year’s resolution for 2012 is to continue the road of sobriety one day at a time. 

On a lighter note, a girlfriend of mine who knows my past regarding rehab and getting help took me out to lunch yesterday only to hand me a Christmas gift of a bottle of wine.  She must have forgotten that I don't drink anymore.  I graciously accepted the gift and will probably give it to my sister and her hubby, but it did give me a little chuckle in the car ride home.

Texas Trip - Part 1

We left Friday 12/23 on an 8pm flight to Dallas/Ft. Worth airport with excitement of warmer weather and thrilling times planned in our minds.  By the time we got to the rental car desk everyone was pretty tired from flying but still excited to see what car we would get and what our hotel room would look like.

Not our room, but similar

Once we got our rental car, Nissan Altima 2011, I was thinking how cool!  Much better than our minivan so we soaked it all up.  The neat thing about this car was that it was a keyless ignition, just push start and go.  How awesome is that?  Once we got to the hotel room, I wasn’t impressed with the size or quality of the room but we made the best out of the situation as we could.  We used Priceline and they match up the airfare, room, and car rental so this is what we got.

Saturday, Christmas Eve 12/24 we headed out towards Cowboys Stadium for the Cowboys/Eagles game.  Yea, yea I know they lost but it didn’t matter to us (much).  This was my daughter and my first trip to the new stadium.  The weather was pretty gloomy and kind of chilly but we still found the whole experience to be quite enjoyable.  After the security people opened the gates to let us in and after I was entering the stadium doors, I found myself overwhelmed with the size of the place.  What drew me in was the huge screen before my eyes, I was mesmerized and I seemed NOT to be able to take my eyes off of it.  It was different than any big screen in any other stadium I’ve seen before because it was high- def, which made for a much better detailed view. 

Tony #9

camera phones don't have the best zoom

Right before the game I bought a loaded nacho bowl that was so tasty and the portion was huge and worth the $9 to buy it.  We walked around the entire stadium and found many art pieces and a few cars on display along with a water fountain.  Man Jerry thought of everything.  Eventually we found our seats and began watching the big screen in front of us and the players on the field warming up. 

fuzzy pix

Unfortunately the Cowboys didn’t pull out a win on the day we visited but our family wasn’t too disappointed.  We tossed around the idea of going to the part of the stadium where the players walk through a hallway/breezeway type of thing to see if we could slap high-fives but I overruled that idea on account of us all being too tired and kinda cranky after the loss. 

We found our way back to the bus that brought us to our parked car blocks away and then we grabbed a bite to eat and back to the hotel for much needed rest. 

Stay tuned to my upcoming parts of my trip detailing my thrilling adventures of a jousting match, rural hospitals, real estate, and downtown views in the grand state of Texas.

LAMI observation

Hello blog world I realize I’ve been off for most of December but I was in ”study mania” during finals and then our family just got back from vacation to the great state of Texas.  I have so much catching up to do that I made a list.  Now that I’m on break I’ll spread out my blogs a bit so I don’t overwhelm you all too much.

www.medivisuals.com

In this blog I’ll mention my exciting time during my OR observation which happened at the beginning of December.  The patient was scheduled to have a laminectomy and discectomy for lumbar stenosis on the L5 region of the back.  The exciting thing about this experience was the fact that I knew the circulating nurse and specifically she requested that I follow her throughout my observation time.  I felt so excited to be asked to come back to see my friend, with her 20 years of experience, in her element. 

The patient was wheeled in awake and talking and then the anesthesia doctor did his thing and the patient was out within minutes.  The nurses, techs, doctor, and PA helped to flip the patient over on his tummy and prepared for surgery.  I was asked to step on a step-stool at the head of the patient so I could have a better view.  The anesthesiologist asked that if I felt woozy to fall backwards and he would catch me but not to fall forwards because I’d land on the patient.  I saw bone flying and just tried to not think of what was happening on a personal level but rather just stay in the moment which helped.

Another thrilling this was that the ortho doc asked me to come opposite of him on the patients other side,  gown up, and come share his double microscope to view what he was doing.  I felt honored and excited, even my nurse friend seemed shocked that I was asked to view the procedure.  The doc showed me the spine under the microscope and pushed it around like it was a rubber band. After he removed some stenosis he asked if I could see better blood flow and I agreed wholeheartedly that I could, even if I didn’t know for sure what I was seeing.

Ultimately the procedure only took about 2.5 hours including the pre and post op times.  While my experience was a positive one, the atmosphere was cold and formal and I don’t think the OR is the place for me because I love interacting way too much with the patients.

Strong Enough by Matthew West

After the week I've had this song sums up what I'm feeling the best!

You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

Med Error?

Last week I had my clinical on Tuesday and I knew I had three meds to give at 0900, but then I never checked the system on what time the next scheduled meds should have been given at.  You see our clinical times start at 0630-1130, and we (the student’s) are responsible for giving all the meds during that time frame.  The patient in my care was supposed to get meds at 0900, 1000, and 1100.  I only gave meds at 0900.  We’ve only be passing meds for three weeks up to this point. The first week I had my instructor watch me, the next week I had the nurse I followed shove me the med and tell ME to administer it while she checked in on another patient. 

So when my instructor sat me down in her office later that afternoon and asked what happened I didn’t have any excuses to give but the truth.  I guess she didn’t like my answer and told me that I shouldn’t have the idea in my head that if I don’t do something the nurse will catch my mistakes.  She said that I AM to be thinking that I am the “nurse” so I SHOULD HAVE given the med, not expecting the nurse I was following to do it.  My instructor then went on to say “I’m sorry this has to go in your academic file especially being your last clinical and all.” I was thinking what kind of a dork tells me this on my last clinical day?!  I get that it was my responsibility and that I shouldn’t have expected my nurse to do any of my work, but come on.  I mean if I were malicious in my intent or purposefully neglectful I could understand.  Or I could understand, if by my doing, the patient was given an extra dose or the wrong med, but my nurse gave the meds that I didn’t and she never mentioned that it was a problem to me. 

I think my instructor was trying to find someone to fault in our class this semester and I was that person.  Either way she teaches by intimidation which doesn’t sit well with most of the students in my class.  She also threatened informed me other instructors next semester will see the red flag in my file and pay close attention to my short comings, making sure I don’t make this mistake again.  Nice…  If I had any bit of confidence up until this point, I surely don't now.  I’ve officially been knocked off my perch, so-to-speak.

Other than that I totally bombed my oxygenation/perfusion exam Friday with a 68% for my score.  I know what happened, I poured all of my time in a 17 page paper and not enough time into studying.  I have to average 73% on all my exams, and so far I’m in the clear, but I really want to rock the final coming up so I can feel rest assured with my overall grade in the class.

On a lighter note I filled out my internship paper work for this coming summer.  I applied to four hospitals in my area that I get a chance to work as a nurse tech.  I’ll be paid roughly half the salary of a new nurse for eight weeks, being able to put to use my nursing skills.  I’m super excited, thrilled, and scared all at the same time.  I hope I do well, and I hope I get extended an interview and offer. 

Revivification Needed

I don’t know what it was this year that had me not feeling in the mood to be thankful?  Could it be the gloomy but warm weather, or maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t near my parents?  It’s not like we didn’t have a lovely time with my hubby’s family, and it certainly wasn’t like I don’t have a trillion things to be thankful for?  But I just felt in a funk, like I cheated my kids and hubby from a great time with me.  I don’t know what I would have done differently?  Maybe I could have tried to be in a better mood and done a better job of compartmentalizing my ever long to-do list? 

I have a massive paper due on Tuesday that I keep trying to push out of my mind and focus on family fun time but can’t.  I know that this paper isn’t hard work, but time consuming.  My school assignments seem to be lining up nicely as I close in on the last 3.5 weeks of school, but still are tedious.

My house is a mess and even though I want to put the tree up later tonight, I know the job will include cleaning up the front room and kitchen first. 

I want to play “Sorry Spin” with my son who bought this game yesterday morning in the hustle and bustle of Black Friday but keep putting it off.

Most importantly I want to take time and rejoice in God’s love for my life.  I want to get into memorizing scripture better so I can stand firm in the Word, when life gets me down.  I want to get out of the small minded thinking about my life’s up’s and down’s and focus more on the bigger picture of where my life is headed and what God has in store for me.  Maybe I’m just getting burnt out, and I think I need a revival.

Mexican Lasagna



Yummy goodness



Today I made one of my hubby’s favorite dishes, Mexican Lasagna.  He said it tasted perfect.  I thought this was a recipe my sister gave me, but after talking to her I guess it wasn’t.  I don’t know where I got the recipe from but I’ll post it on here for anyone interested.

Mexican Lasagna

2 T of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)

½ of a red onion diced up

2 #’s of hamburger

1-1/2 C of frozen corn

2-1/2 to 3 C of medium salsa

1 can of black beans

2 T of chili powder

2 t of cumin

2-4 C of your desired flavor of shredded cheese

1 package of 8” tortillas cut in halves.

Handful of scallions or spinach leaves



First layer of tortillas (there's a layer of meat mixture underneath)



First brown up your hamburger then drain grease and put meat back in pan with diced up onion, and spices with the EVOO for approximately 5-7 minutes between medium to high heat. After you’ve cooked that for the duration, go ahead and add the corn, salsa, and black beans until heated throughout.  Next go ahead and put a layer of the meat mixture on the bottom of your 9X13 pan then a layer of cheese and lastly a layer of tortillas.  Repeat another time and finish off with your last layer of cheese and sprinkle on top with scallions or spinach leaves for color.  Enjoy!



Beef, corn, black beans, salsa mixture





Next sprinkle the cheese




Last layer includes leaves of spinach for color




Cooked until the cheese is melted and browned





What Does Normal Feel Like Again?

I had the evening off from work yesterday and I was extremely thrilled!  First let me tell you that I had a dickens of a week with all of my time devoted to studying for Exam 3 in my “big 7 credit foundational class”.  The content was majority on diabetes and although I felt fairly confident I still wasn’t able to walk away from the exam with a test score any higher than 78%.  Hummmm….not that great of a test score seeing as though I spent lots of time studying.  I think I have a great handle on the whole picture of what I’m studying but still struggling with application.  I wonder if it would serve me best to cut back on my study time and focus on the main points during lecture times.  This seems to be the suckiest part of school for me, ironing out what’s going to work for me and how I’m going to retain what I learn.  Also trying to figure a good way to come up with possible test questions that I could ask myself and using that as a helpful guide when trying to keep in mind the important stuff.

I haven’t given my Nursing Made Incredibly Easy Pathophysiology and Med/Surg. books a fair chance yet. I think these would be a great resource tool; either way back to my Friday break-down.  After I got home from my time at school, I went grocery shopping, and then back home to clean and get a few loads of laundry done.  Later I spent time making homemade pizza for me and the hubby.  Both our kids had previous plans to sleep over at their friends’ houses, so we watched TV and movies.  Nothing brought me more pleasure than feeling normal for a while.  So easily I get caught up in studying/working/thinking nurse-like that I forget to make time to just be me. 

Does anyone else suffer from feeling off kilter when it comes to being totally consumed by something?  I want to be the best nurse possible, trying to take care of patients and making them feel better, but if I can’t understand and get a grasp why the body does the things it does then I’m worried I won't be very helpful.

I Love You, My Sister

Friends by Michael W. Smith

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

Flu Shot

This past week on Tuesday I gave my first IM injection on a real live person!  Actually it was a flu shot clinic, and I gave 6 injections total. 

WOOT-WOOT! 

What a scary time it was for me but after the first one down, the rest were downhill. 


ANYONE NEED A FLU SHOT??

Vivid Dream Details

Isn’t it funny that you can dream in such vivid details??

A few nights ago I had a really wonderful dream that had me literally crying when I woke up.  You see my grandpa past away a few years ago and he and my grandma helped renovate their summer cabin into their primary home once they retired.  With the help of my uncle and a few years of hard work they completed the project and it was a beautiful home.  My grandparents had a lot of pride in their home, and we grandchildren had MANY memories collected of the cabin.

My dream started off with me showing up at the dock inspecting how the new owners were taking care of my grandpa’s skilled artistry.  I was noticing small details like how the styrofoam protected blocks were connected to the dock to prevent the boat from scraping its wood.  As I moved up the walkway to the back of the house I could see small differences in what the new owners had done differently and wanted to let them know how to correct or fix them.  I let myself into the house and waited in the front room overlooking the lake, tall pine, and maple trees.  When the family got home I started explaining who I was and why I was in their house.  Then I tried to politely explain to the family that they could fix their house and make it look better if they just took my advice to get it back to the way my grandpa had it.  I don’t know why it was so important to preserve this home the way my grandpa had it, but it was.

Then out of the corner of my eye the screen door opened and my grandpa walked in and had a twinkle in his eye and bright refreshing smile on his face (like only my grandpa could) and took a seat on the couch.  The family just vanished away from us, as I sat down on the floor at his feet and just looked up at him in awe and was overjoyed to be seeing him.  I told him how much I loved and missed him.  I felt like a child again, when there weren’t any grown-up problems or responsibilities to deal with, and I was just excited to be there.

My grandpa told me that I shouldn’t have been so hard on the family who was trying to make this house their home.  He quoted a Bible verse about there being a time to build and a time to tear down (Ecclesiastes 3:3) and that I should have grace on this family. 

Then I woke up literally crying and wiping the tears from my eyes.  I’m not sure how to take this dream.  After I had woken up completely I looked up the passage this verse comes from and this is what it says:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

 1 There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 6 a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 8 a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

I called my mom on my way in to school that morning and through my tears again I explained the dream to her.  She suggested it was the enemy trying to make me feel guilty for being in school and not to listen to him.  That I’m doing the best I can and need to continue with school and the sacrifices I’m making.  Ugh, either way I’m glad I got to see my grandpa again.

Think Twice Before You Say What's On Your Mind

Last night I was working my eight hour shift at the hospital and my co-worker, grabs me by my arm and practically drags me into one of the charting rooms.  She has red eyes and tells me that one of her female patients she was taking care of, mistook her by accident as expecting…as in pregnant…as in looks big in the waist line such as looking pregnant. 

OH MY goodness people! 

My co-worker does not in the least bit look pregnant at all!  She was merely wearing a long-sleeve shirt (it is Wisconsin and cold outside already) under her scrub top and the pants she wore looked bunchy in that part of the waist because of the drawstring. 

OH MY GOODNESS people!

She was so upset that she must have cried about it.  I tried to calm her down saying things like “of course you don’t look pregnant”, and “I’m sure it’s just the patient’s anesthetic”, and “YOU DON’T LOOK BIG”!

But it was hard to change her mind, she kept standing there holding her tummy and sticking it out asking “do I look that fat”?  PLEASEEE!  I reassured her again that she looked beautiful and not pregnant or fat.

OH MY GOODNESS PEOPLE!

Please, for the greater good of all womankind, be graceful and wise (knowing that if the tables were turned, think of how it would make you feel if the opposite were said about you) before you ask a woman if they’re pregnant or expecting.  This is the most ignorant comment anyone could make to a woman who isn’t pregnant.  This is hurtful and hard to recover from especially, if like my friend, you’re trying to lose weight.  Please especially keep in mind people like me who are trying to get their work done in a timely manner, have to now put on their counselor hat and help build up their co-workers self esteem that has clearly taken a beating.